although open to the possibility
on those days when the placid salty waters,
call me to explore beneath
the warm emerald blankets,
coaxing my faith in you. It’s there
and I’m glad you’re with me
discovering what lies beneath
the sun sets its honey hues across the horizon
as it drips over the earth’s greens and blues
a few ripples splash against our boat
barely noticeable. The world seems kind-
doesn’t it?

But then, if I’m honest
there are those fitful days,
the angry seas and selfish wind contend
and everything evil surrounds us
pushing at our ship, drowning in watery doubt
and there isn’t room for both of us
on this untrustworthy vessel
tossed violently between each sullen wave
holding on for dear life, hoping–
I’m inclined to wonder who will escape,
you or me; it can’t be both.
The terrifying truth is I’m ok if it’s not me
as certain I am
you are not worth that



you said you were leaving
taking everything
but you persist
a ghost offering nothing
only the haunting proof you once were
here but no longer wanted me
tonight I sat down to eat a meal alone
and I found numbers and names
etched in the cheap maple table
a translucent glare in the wood
I had to focus a long time to see
your hard lines and erratic curves
I lightly traced each indent
a’s and j’s
and 7’s and 5’s
barely there under my pale fingertip
I pushed down hard to feel the movement of you
carefully searching for each groove
as questions pressed into my mind
why couldn’t I engrave myself into you
as easily as you etched yourself into my table
but here you are
outlined throughout my home
you said you were taking everything
but you left your soul behind